I think i've finally figured out WHY i write. It's not just for me. I mean my words and my experiences mold my writing, but it couldn't be that selfish of a meaning. There's gotta be more behind why i feel compelled to scribble down thoughts into blog posts. (and no it's not to be internet famous... Although i'll take the attention) One thing that people will tell you about me, often i lack a filter, for good and for bad... But they can always expect the honesty in all i say/do. Sometimes it pisses people off, offends them, ostracizes me... But very seldom do i step back from the situation and think "damn, what i did/said wasn't consistent with the truths i believed at that point in time." i might have gotten some new information to disprove my "truth", but the decision i made was contingent on me believing it as such. Hope that makes some type of sense. So back to why do i write... (this is one part, my real life lack of focus. People like that.) People are actually reading my blog. I thank you for it. Seriously. You know how much black folk hate reading. But what i've gotten often, i've typed out what my readers have said/thought at one point in time. Not that i've typing some upper level stuff, but that it's another avenue for them to get reassurance that it'll be ok. Quite a few people told me, "yea you and i are on the same page... It reminds me of when i...." and thats gratifying. Because in a world where all of us want to be told that it'll be ok, and be accepted (insert comment about how i couldn't care less about other people's validation) by someone. I'm not putting myself up there as if i'm important and people should look to me, i'm just saying that sometimes a voice that isn't yours who has a story like yours is comforting. Yanno, that shared experience shit from skip gates (everyone's favorite negro :| ) that i love throwing out when i'm ranting. Let me find out im talking about it and still have no idea wtf it means. Lol. It's just nice to know that you're not in it by yourself. Funny i just was ranting yesterday about how i was feeling alone. So in order to fix that, i guess i try to make sure that no one else feels the same? *shrug* pretty anticlimatic ending to the blogpost huh? Time to clock in, yall be easy.

As Raphael Saadiq- Doin What I Can starts to play on the ipod. Yanno music tells a damn good story. I hope to be able to do that with my words. "i'm just doin what i can". Aint that the truth.