A good friend tweeted this and needed some help:
fellas, i need your help w/ something...give me three things that men struggle with (mentally, emotionally, psychologically, etc.)...thanks

I read it as a problem that black men have... and i just kinda went on my own little mental tangent... so.. here we go. here's my one quality contribution to the discussion.

Being as my demographic is prolly african american, i'm sure someone has heard this question before...

WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?

I usta think that only white people asked that. I swore it was a racial question, because white people always got what they wanted. yanno, the whole entitlement shit. Then i went to hampton. then i realized that the question was not a matter of race, but a matter of awareness. When people really want to know why am i so angry, so frustrated, so short fused for stupid shit.

Lemme backtrack. I went home for thanksgivin (eh... thanksgivin..) and one of my teachers... really cool (white) guy.. was talkin to me about a day that we had open house at my ap school... and my father watched me make cat 5 cables. I wasn't the best person at puttin em in order, and crimpin those damn cables... and with him lookin over me, i was REALLY paranoid. it showed, cause next thing i know, i'm fumbling over wires and it just was NOT WORKING. my old man was askin me, you kno what you're doin, and all this stuff... so my teacher comes over to tell my old man what a great student i am in the class, and now i bring personality to the classroom, to try to alleviate some of the pressure. not good at all. so in so many words, now his son is a coon who takes up space in the class. didn't help that i was the only black kid in the class... and my father is the one who taught me how to program and all the computer stuff. I say alla this to say this...

i graduated from high school in 2004. I visited in 2009. The teacher said something to the effect of: how did you come from your father? your demeanor is completely different, and he was all tight, sat up perfect posture, concise words and things like that. it looks like your father plays no games. Now anyone who knows me (or has grown up with me) knows that i'm not like that. I'm laid back, and fun loving.. not to say my father isn't/wasn't... but when you think about me, you think about laughs. you think about randomness, you think about how i'm easygoing or something like that. never would anyone think about calling me angry. lol.

I didn't get it either. i didn't understand why my father could go from being a very giving, wonderful thoughtful person... to a person who was ready to drop kick you just because you didn't get the cat 5 correct. but the older i got... i understood. the tolerance for ineptitude, simplicity, just all over sorry assed shit does not exist. I didn't understand why my great shit was never good enough. when teachers usta tell my father that i was funny, and i was witty... personality traits.. that did nothing. that made him upset. like that was all i had to bring to the table. It wasn't that i couldn't have a personality, but damn if that was the first thing that people thought about me. as if i didn't bring anything of substance to the table. It's hard out here for a black man. it's hard out here just being not white.. but it's really hard out here for a black man. That's why he was so angry. he was tired. tired of workin all day and doin his job better than all the people who were ready to have his ass fired....


more later. sorry. lol.